Post-It Note of the day:

If your experience of yourself is object-referred, it is fear-based and resistance to what is. if your experience of yourself is self-referred, it is love-based and accepting of what is. Self-acceptance, total self-acceptance means self-forgiveness.

Deepak Chopra, Power Freedom and Grace.

Thank you Mr. Big…

I was reading about Grace today, I have always had a hard time understanding grace, let alone carry it with me. My mother is the definition of it, and I have always admired her, although at times she has made me quite angry and unimportant with her indifferent attitude(or at least I thought it was indifference at the time)…
Living beyond the good or bad, not getting effected by the ego, being bigger than the worldly behaviours, it’s grace. Her not responding to my toxic words, or feeding to my ego, was not ignorance or treating me like a fool, but showing how there are more important things in life, and how much of a bigger person you can be in the times of dissatisfaction. This had always made me wonder why would the universe give me a mother who has such grace, while I don’t carry any.
Until I met a guy, lets call him Mr. big ( you know in the honour of sex and the city, I know what you think, but if you were a single girl in love with NYC you would have loved this show too)…
Mr. big was confident, positive, in the moment, charming, indifferent, and if I have to end his attitude with a word here, would be Solid. He wasn’t very expressive about his feelings, but he always said the right things, which reminded me of someone; My mother. I felt warm and at home around him. Not because I felt like he was my mother!!( Are you kidding??) But because I felt an admiration for him, without even knowing him that well.
I still don’t know him that well (I think). But for a long time I was blaming him for walking away or not expressing his feelings, or being indifferent or careless about my feelings, and finally being a lier. Someone that is too much of a coward to be honest and say what needs to be said, as he always said what I needed to hear. A perfect word wizard, a charmer.
Until one day I felt that I had enough and walked away. I could not take the lack of passion and indifference in him, and said goodbye. That was when I received an email from him, and heard the truth between his words; Grace.
Kindness usually brings grace along with it, when you care about others, not breaking their heart and letting little things go becomes a package for being graceful. And if you are a student of grace like me and do not understand this kind of behaviour, it will all look like indifference, carelessness and a lie.
He was kind, graceful and saw the big picture, that is why he didn’t want to hurt me. Silence does not always mean meanness, and I thank him for teaching me this. Sometimes people come to your life just to complete the lesson you’ve been trying to learn all your life.
I am not sure if I ever see him again, but I am motivated by his presence and his warmth to carry on grace with me from now on.
Good or bad are just two opposites of an experience, once we live beyond such judgement, we will experience grace. So next time you start to judge someone for their lack of words, or honesty, take a second and consider grace…

Thought of the day

I have decided to think out loud here today.
The part that makes writing difficult is the mind, trying to write something great. It’s ironic that the mind that helps us write, also keeps us from writing. So the shorter the columns and the faster they are written, the more helpful they will be in getting the motor running. So here we go, today I have decide to just write and see how easy it is to write when you don’t think!

The right to be famous.

A homeless man picture, credit to Humans of New York.
Humans of New York is a website owned by a young photographer in New York City, which captures images of ordinary people on the streets, usually with a comment or a story about them attached. The other day I saw yet another image of a guy in need, posted on HONY that made everyone jump out to help him, a homeless guy that on a regular basis we probably would pass by and not even notice…
This made me wonder; What is so different about seeing a homeless man on a Facebook page from seeing them on the street?
And I remembered a comment from Oprah Winfrey, that the one thing all of her nearly 30,000 guests had in common: They all wanted validation. According to her, every single person you will ever meet shares that common desire. They want to know: ‘Do you see me? Do you hear me? Does what I say mean anything to you?’…
So what about this homeless man? Why do we see him differently now? Is it because these images were seen by everyone? Has the image on a website made them get validated? Did it Make others to have more empathy when they feel the validation? Is it because that man now is  famous?…
Fame brings love, brings validation, and everyone wants to be a part of that…
Why is fame so attractive, why do so many of us want to be famous? What is fame anyway?
They say fame is not real, but an illusion that others have of you, a story that they make of you and fall in love with. Is this true? Seems that it all depends on what you show, if the show is real, they will fall in love with the truth, you will become famous for your truth, part of it anyhow.
So why do we want to be famous? Is it to be rich? You can be rich without being famous, is it to be powerful? You can be powerful without being famous, is it to be loved?…
That is the bottom line, isn’t it? Being loved, being validated is at the bottom of this. Being loved, brings us back to our truest self, getting a stamp of approval for just being on this planet, for being who we are.
As every human being deserves to be validated (Why else would they be on this planet, if they did not have the right to be) is it safe to say; Every human being has the right to be famous? Or better say; Does every single one of us have the right to be known? As we are all unique souls on this planet (Or whatever you want to call us), don’t we all deserve to be known by ALL?
Imagine if every single person on this earth was well-known, was praised for their unique talents, for just being here and loved for their strengths or weaknesses. A massive classroom that is filled with famous kids, being praised for what they are bringing to the table.
I believe in what Oprah says; We are all looking to be validated, validated for simply being on this earth, if that was happening, we could just stop “trying” to prove ourselves to the world, and start being ourselves, who we were meant to be, be loved and be famous for being just as we are.
Fame is not fake, it’s a reality mistaken for a “privilege for the lucky”. I believe this is the reason why when a person in need of help is put under a magnifying glass, we all jump out to help. Because deep down we all know; Every person needs to be famous, every person needs to be validated. And most of the time we need a camera with a zoom in feature to help us “see” the others.
If only our eyes were as equipped as our phones and cameras…. Let us see each other, and validate each other, we are all famous, in the eyes of a beholder.

Too much to say and non at all…

Have you ever reached a moment that you felt there is nothing left to say? And yet again, there were thousand words a second marching pass your eyes, thinking; But if I wanted to say something, this would be it. And then the broken record goes on and on, and yet again, your heart takes of the needle and says: There is nothing that needs to be said sweetheart, you have your answer…Too much to say and non at all…


I received a message the other day from someone, that maybe 6 months ago would have been the name I wanted to see on my phone. Of course, it always comes when you are passed the desire to receive any, moved on and are happy. It made me smile. He had mentioned something in the message that he use to make fun of, he was trying to be cute and it made me smile for a split second, and then, that was it. Nothing else followed. No apology, not an open heart, no sign of trying to make things right, just a breeze of the past.
I put the phone down and smiled at my friend, she said; aren’t you gonna answer him? I said; what would I say to this? all that pain and all that heartache, and this is it. Too much to say and non at all. She said: What if there was a gesture?
I saw a movie about big gestures, when a guy does a woman wrong, in a slightest bit, and needs to make a big gesture to make it right, if there is a slightest chance to make it right, he needs to have a slightest care in his heart to do so. And this made me wonder; Would I have done differently if there was a gesture. I do not know, and I would never know I guess. But I do know, if you need to turn a heart in the opposite direction, you need a big move on the wheel to do so.
To forgive just means to accept the past for what it was and not to close your heart because of a hard lesson that you had to learn. So as I forgive and not forget, I smile and put the phone down. It is all been said and non at all…

Age is an illusion…

 For a long time, I could not convince others how old I was. I looked so much younger that I couldn’t even believe myself, when it came out of my mouth. I basically had to think for a moment to remember the number, because it didn’t mean anything to me. I felt ageless. 

I use to think just because I was not mature enough, or I was acting younger than my age, and I never felt as mature as girls my age, then my physique followed the same attitude and aged slowly as well. I was truly like a child inside; I only thought about today, I wanted everything at that moment, I didn’t care what happened in the past and i didn’t care for future either, there was only Now. so I was upset if that moment sucked or I was happy if it was great. And this went on for quite a while until I started to get effected by my surroundings, and some tough situations came along my path. I started to listen to others, to people older than me, and started to think maybe i should start doing what they are doing, so I wont make the same mistakes again. And sure enough, I started to change. I started to age. Not only I wasn’t happier, and I didn’t stop making mistakes, but I lost my natural ability to cope and fix my issues, and be in the now. I started to feel older, life started to effect me, and my physique started to age. I was acting like others were, so I was in fact “growing up”. Wasn’t that great?
No it wasn’t. It took me years of misery and losing my soul, feeling rusty and effected by life to get me here; The place that I have realized they were wrong! 
I was fine before. That was the only way anyone should live. Being in the now. I realized why I wasn’t aging for a long time, and why I felt ageless; Because time didn’t exist for me, I was in the NOW. Like a little baby that doesn’t know what time means. 
The soul doesn’t age, only evolves. This physique listens to our mind, and tries to satisfy what we are asking of it; If we try so hard to run forward, forget the now and “Grow up” we are sucking the energy out of our body, and like an empty balloon, we start to wrinkle. 
So I have rejuvenated my soul, and my moment. This is all I need, the NOW to be. And day by day I see myself in the mirror how much better I look. Yesterday is gone, tomorrow is never here, and the only moment that never ends is the NOW. And this is all we need to know that age is an illusion. 
Try it, you have nothing to lose but numbers.

Are you the one?

I have been waiting. I have been waiting for this moment, to see someone sitting in front of me and have the courage to hear whispers in my head, saying you are whose partner I am suppose to be. That fear inside of me is not taking over, the voice that says you are not here to stay, that unreal voice which forgets, that if you are who you are, nothing will take you away.

If your heart is singing the same song as mine, let our dance begin, and our love blossom. 

Gratitude is Surrender…

Have you ever heard the saying that “your life will change when you start a gratitude journal”? That gratitude is the only thing you need?

I’ve known this for a long time but I never really believed in it with my whole heart until recently I had an epiphany. Gratitude has a unique effect, makes you surrender, because unless you surrender you can not be happy for what you have. And being grateful for what you have requires to give up and surrender what you want and don’t have. Confused yet?? It is the chicken and egg situation. Once you surrender your desires and whatever is forcing you not wanting the NOW, you will start to feel grateful for what you actually have.

I find it that it always helps me to find out why something works and another doesn’t. The why has always been more important to me than the what. And of course this has never been an attractive quality of mine, in the eyes of my teachers and parents of course. Can you imagine how time consuming and annoying would be to have to answer to a child’s “stupid” questions, specially when you don’t know the answers? And of course with no answer, I had never accepted what was forced on me or asked of me. Ergo I was not an “easy” child as they say.

Today I find this quality one of my best ones and the one that has helped me to learn whatever I have learned in my life, and for that I am grateful, I am grateful for a quality in me that everyone hated.

So what came after this feeling you wonder?

Of course It made me embrace the rest of my personality and my qualities, no matter how hard, unpleasant, unacceptable they have been, I am sure there are reasons for them being there.

Be thankful for the WHOLE of you, some day you will find them useful.



Should I grab that chocolate bar by the checking counter?

Have you ever heard the saying that regret is the only emotion that never goes away? I am not sure if this is true yet but I wonder why it has been said. 

I was doing some grocery shopping the other day when I realized this is around 10th time this is happening to me; I get a hint of putting something in the basket, I give it a thought and say no to it and walk away. And of course once I check out and get home, I can’t stop thinking about that item and keep saying; shoulda bought it, I really want to have it now… And regret inevitability follows. 

I know this is quite a small regrettable incident, but started to make me wonder; Why do we regret certain things and not the rest?

Is the Regret feeling coming from Ego or our true self? Once we figure that out we can see if it is real or not, and how is it manageable. 

I started to make notes of the times that I regretted some things and didn’t on the others. For example remembering to say something to someone and didn’t, the should have feeling didn’t come into play this time because I realized one important difference;

I did not get a hint in the back of my mind, or as an old fashion saying; it did not cross my mind to say it at the time, therefore once it came to my mind that I should have said it, no regret was followed, how could I regret something that never was? And it became clear to me; 

Those dropped hints and those little whispers in the back of our mind for every little thing that we want to do are coming from our intuition, our best guid in this universe. So as we ignore it, we are going against our own good and the regret feeling is the aftermath of that response, and our punishment (or lesson if we can use it) for our ignorance. 

So basically regret only follows when we ignore a hint, not just because we should have done something and we didn’t. If we do not act, it is simply because we were not suppose to, it wasn’t the time, or just it is a wrong idea and it seems to be right in retrospect. 

Now, the tricky and important part is to know which is the hint from our intuition and which is just a bad idea from our ego. It has taken me a long time to figure this one out of course, but I have found a way to differentiate the two; 

First thing is; Are we are present in the moment. (being in your head and if you’ve been thinking for couple of hours blocks you from getting clear messages from your intuition )

The second is; Is it a quick thought, first thought, and it is kind of random. Think of it as little drops of milk in your coffee (weird example I know but I think it works.)

The third is; Do you immediately have a bit of resistance to it. Your ego starts to act immediately after an idea comes from above. The immediate resistance after a drop idea is a great hint to know not to get fooled and stick to it. 

The forth is; after resisting it immediately or dismissing it, does it pops up again, gives you another chance to say yes to it. If comes back into your mind, that is it. You have to go for it. 

These steps are helpful guide but of course it is still quite tricky, we are the only ones that at any given moment to know what is real and what is coming from the ego. 

Regret only grabs us when are given the chance and those little milk drops, and we say no.

So do not fear of saying yes to something that has been popping to your mind few times after you have turned your head the other way. Grab that little chocolate bar that caught your attention at the store, because when you wake up in the morning and realize you need something before the work out and tell yourself I should have grabbed that bar, you know what inevitably follows…